 |
Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: I. M.. Power, VP
Welcome aboard! Delighted you have accepted a position as planning analyst with Mega Corp. See you in September, as they say. To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Nefarious Airlines
We are sorry to learn that Fluffy feels humiliated if her cat carrier is marked "Excess Baggage." Please remember that, in proportion to her size, Fluffy has more room in her carrier than our first class passengers enjoy in their recliner seats.
Anyway, your cats are well known in the airline world. We had to override the Hazardous Cargo Alert to allow Fluffy on board in any capacity. To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Mega Corp Human Resources
We're delighted to learn that you will be joining us for your extended leave. To move your household goods, we contracted with Organization Movers, The owner, Frankie Felon, got his start dealing questionable substances at networking parties in his MBA program. Frankie's lawyer, Big Tony, assures us Frankie has reformed. To Organization Moving
From: Maybelle Misfire
I've always wanted to develop an ad campaign on the topic, Life without Furniture (not to mention clothing, dishes or sheets), and I am deeply grateful to your company for giving me an opportunity to experience this condition while my possessions remain lost somewhere near Delaware. Since both my origin and destination are both west of the Mississippi, I'm glad my furniture will get to see something of the East Coast, even if I don't. However, my data collection is now approaching redundancy and I am ready to sleep in my own bed again. To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Organization Moving
We can authorize temporary accommodations until your furniture arrives, but we cannot force any hotel on the planet to accept Fluffy, Tabby and Furball as guests. Nor can we authorize restaurant meals for felines. We are sure Fluffy will recover from the trauma of eating off a paper plate on the floor.
Alas, we don't have a Feline Therapy Unit, but Big Tony has offered to devote some quality one-on-one time to Fluffy's morale problem. To: Customer Service, Organization Moving Corp.
From: Central Dispatch, Organization Moving Corp. Who hired Driver Tom in the first place? When the Highway Patrol asks about funny-looking plants, our drivers are supposed to declare them as household geraniums, slightly wilted from travel trauma. They are not supposed to say, "Gee, I dunno, but it sure looks like something from the sixties, don't it?" After the entire van had been unloaded and inspected at the Oklahoma border, and all the dust analyzed, Tom just started driving east and didn't stop till he saw the ocean. It's up to the PR suits to tell Maybelle Misfire what happened to her stuff. To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Customer Service, Organization Moving
We are genuinely sorry about the delay associated with delivery of your household goods. Believe me, our founders know all about life on the run. We believe you will understand when we tell you that Driver Tom, one of our most experienced and dedicated professionals, halted his truck when he spied a cat caught in a tree on a freezing cold day. (OK, it was August, but he was in the mountains.) Fortunately, ladders are standard equipment for Organization Movers. Driver Tom climbed the tree, rescued the cat and held its paw during surgery at the local veterinary hospital. After getting medical treatment for his own scratches, Tom climbed right back in his truck--but not before making sure that the cat would have a loving home with the veterinarian's assistant. We're sure you would have done the same. To: Maybelle Misfire
From: I. M. Power, VP
Welcome to your new job. For your first project, we want you to analyze the customer service of our newest client -- our own Organization Movers. Seems like they have a PR problem. Should be easy to fix. On the other hand, you may have trouble getting primary data. Customers who complain tend to have forwarding addresses like, "Lost Gulch, New Mexico." If you like feline humor, you may enjoy my ebook, Maybelle Lives! and my advice to cats who move. For serious advice about moving with cats, consult my trade book, Making the Big Move. About The Author Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, helping midlife professionals take their First step to a Second Career. http://www.cathygoodwin.com. "Ten secrets of mastering a major life change" mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.com Contact: cathy@cathygoodwin.com 505-534-4294
 |
More resources:
|
|
 |
 |
 |
RELATED ARTICLES
Finding Lost Children
A couple of days ago I had to go to a dealership to get my car fixed. I am not implying that I don't want my car to have children, because who am I to make that choice? More so, I was sent a letter about a recall on one of the parts (the hazards, actually), meaning that the dealership was obligated to fix my car while I watched television and drank free coffee from a vending machine?"This is quite a deal," you may be thinking.
Dumb Luck
I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I don't have much of a sense of humor at all.
When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan
It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets.
Stopping Bad Breath Bart
"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a week."
OK, so I can be a little candid every now and then.
Space, and the Room for It
Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it.I remember with some pain, my first ride on a penny farthing with its big wheel and long spokes that were well engineered to cut a foot or two off anyone's legs.
Internet is My True Agent
You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time there is a pen and paper on the table, they will be sketching something down, with a mysterious smile, giggling quietly and making funny faces.
Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet
We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day can get quite tedious, especially if it is your job 5 days a week.
Mexican Spaminator
When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting things that popped into my mind was that I would get a new Internet Service Provider and finally get off the 300,000,000 Spam lists that I was on. I thought for sure I would go insane if I received one more "How to Enlarge Your Manhood" piece of Spam-as if I needed to do that anyway (yeah right).
Starbucks Going into Hilton
Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong, Crew Member Starbucks is not doing Paris Hilton. What I am saying here is Starbucks will now be offered in some Hilton Hotels.
Important Safety Tip$
I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of interacting with people who have dementia. I've modified this list only slightly to guide you in safely interacting with corporate executives.
Marines Dont Take Crap
We live in a world of widgets. People manufacture, distribute, and sell them.
Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward
Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show theatre, right near Mama's Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa's Gas Station ("We burp you on your way.
How To Marry A Wealthy Guy
How To Marry A Wealthy Guy(or Girl..
The Language of Appalachia
Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few years ago and learned that I do, indeed, have an accent. You see, unlike my paternal grandmother, I don't stretch the word "cornbread" into four syllables.
Fried Green Tomatoes Recipe
My next-door neighbors found a human bone in their backyard. Let me rephrase.
Playing Go-Between in the Digital Age
NOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at *spark-online.com when my grandmother was alive.
American Independence - The True Story
It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham Palace, sitting in reflective mood on his commode. His 13 year old son Prince George (yes, they were very imaginative with their names, those royal types), was sitting on the floor nearby, otherwise occupied with the 18th century equivalent of Game Boy: a model soldier with a rifle sat on a model elephant, shooting at a model tiger two planks of wood away.
Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05
Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food? - Former StudentPoor Rix ate lunch at a school last week, and really liked it. Who knew they could make a dessert out of corn chips?Fact is, Poor Rix enjoyed everything about school, except for the "study" part.
A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking
I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT.
If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)
Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank..
|