 |
The Great Opportunity
I assume you want to be happier. Searching for greater happiness is a wonderful thing whatever level of happiness you are currently at. It could be that you are already enjoying life and just searching for a new idea, or it could be that you have felt negative towards life or the experiences life has dealt you. If you feel in anyway negative about life I would like to share something with you. It is human nature to take a look at the darker side of life. I have often dwelt on this side. I've found that in this negative place I often feel a greater sense of hopelessness and loss. I believe when we have had a traumatic experience it is right that we should feel this way for a time. Perhaps it has been right for you to feel this way. Perhaps it was part of the healing process for whatever you have been through up until now. Perhaps looking at the negative side of life has served you well up until now - as a form of protection - but I think that in the long run that it would be wrong and harmful to your health, and life, for you continue with these thoughts once you have acknowledged that they exist. Let me expand on why I believe this. Whatever life has dealt you, however bad things were or are; there has been a lesson for you to learn from that experience. If you are still in a situation that makes you unhappy it would be wise to review it and see what you can do to leave it or alleviate the pain and frustration from it. In the ending of an unhappy experience you are released and presented with something that can be used to make everyday from here onwards happier? and that something can be summed up in one word? Out of your hardship, out of your hopelessness and feeling of being lost you will find 'opportunity', opportunity to be free of all the hardship of the past, an opportunity to rediscover yourself, an opportunity to do all the things you might like to have done but could not or did not do before. Let me give you an example of the day a thought about an opportunity came. The thought came as a shock, so out of place with the rest of my thoughts that day that I stopped what I was doing instantly. A few seconds passed and then I began to laugh like I hadn't laughed in years. I had been upset. I had been dwelling on the down side of my relationship break-up. In particular I had been regretting so many wasted years. I was feeling just awful when the thought I am telling you about travelled through my brain like an express train. The thought was this: "I am a lucky man, in an enviable position and I'm a free
to create the most incredible relationship with the most
incredible woman I've ever met." Until that moment I had no idea that the break-up of my relationship had a positive side, but that realisation made me laugh. That realisation reshaped my day. In fact it did a lot more than that? Over the next few days I still had plenty of moments when I thought about all the things that hurt me. The good thing was though that the "I'm a lucky man?' thoughts kept returning. I realise now that what I had begun to do was let go of my attachment to my past relationship.
I begun to spend time sitting down with my eyes shut and repeating the thoughts that I was now free to create the most incredible relationship. As I did this it was like cords breaking. The heartache and pain subsided gradually over the following days and I began to feel somehow lighter, like a little of my pain had been lifted off. Within four months that incredible relationship began to unfold. First I met this wonderful woman. We became close friends and from there the magic has just continued to unfold. Try this: For a moment close your eyes. Think about one thing that is causing you heart-ache. Now, be playful and imagine that this pain is in fact a great opportunity. Smile as you think about the opportunity that is now available to you right now. It may be a relationship. It may be a change of job. Whatever it is, just remember that as one door closes another opens? This article is an extract from Neil Millar's 'Greater Steps to Happiness'. Visit http://www.neilmillar.net and find out how to join Neil's fast-growing readership and obtain a free copy of this e-book.
 |
More resources:
|
|
 |
 |
 |
RELATED ARTICLES
10 Survival Strategies to Overcoming Adversity and Being Happy
If one thing is for certain, each of us will experience some form of adversity while we are still breathing on this Earth. Unfortunately, some of us will experience more than our fair share of adversity, either in the workplace or in our personal lives.
Are You Doing What You Love?
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.
Hanging Out
Right off the top: What is the difference between dating and hanging out?My teens try to differentiate the two by saying that dating is what you do with someone you want to be serious with. Hanging Out is what you do with good friends.
Gratefulness
Gratefulness brings a great fullness to life. The choice to adopt and hold a moment-by-moment attitude of gratitude is the choice that differentiates those who suffer the slings and arrows of misfortune and those who are blessed with a joyous and abundant life.
Acts of Kindness Benefit Everyone
Do you really want to be happy? Everyone says yes, but the gateway to happiness makes some of us frown. The gateway to happiness, is giving to others.
The Key To A Problem-Free Life
What comes to your mind when you see someone who has a perpetual smile on her face and always looks at things on the bright side? Do you wish you could strangle that person or do you wonder how she accomplishes looking peaceful and without a care in the world. Well, I'd hope that once you get past the wanting to strangle the person, you'd ask yourself what it is that makes that person tick the way she does? I'd venture to guess that the person leads a problem-free life! Am I saying that this person doesn't face challenges and obstacles? Absolutely not! It's all about how she perceives these challenges and the thought process she applies.
Most of Your Unhappiness in Life is Due to...
I want to share with you today one of those great moments,
when you suddenly experience a life changing burst of
clarity. When suddenly the answer you're searching for
becomes so obvious - it's right there in front of you, and
all you can say is "Wow! Why didn't I realise that before?"This was the first of several moments of awakening for me,
following my breakdown in early January 2005.
How To Be Happy
Happiness is a state of mind, so your state of mind at this moment makes all the difference.You need to ask yourself, is it what you want, the thing
that is going to make you happy?If the answer is yes, does this mean that what you have must
not be good enough?We go through life searching, searching for a better job,
better house, better car, better relationship, sometimes for
many people this is a full time "occupation, always
searching!It seems to be a vicious circle for many of us, because the
last job was the better one, now it is not, somehow it's
lost its appeal, just as when you bought your car, it was
going to make you happy but that was only for a short time,
you soon became unhappy once you saw another newer model, so
the car that was your dream car is no longer a dream.
Self-Worthiness
Worthiness-word origin. Worth and worship both come from Old English weorth, worth value.
Why We Have Problems? A Coach Debates
As a coach, I often ask myself the question why human beings have problems. With the exception of terminal diseases, serious illnesses that are REALLY life-threatening situations and serious stuff, we do have problems for a number of reasons I will present below.
How To Be Outrageously Happy
You can be as happy as you want whenever you want. Zen masters have proven this - all you have to do is just "be" with whatever you have right now.
Suffering
Since wisdom is the art of coping with suffering, it starts with a willingness to tackle it head-on:a) Such is the harshness of our condition that we suffer, sometimes greatly or worse, insuperably.b) Such is the richness of our nature that we can learn to live happily, or at least serenely, within the limits of this condition.
Keys to Happiness
"Happiness is the whole aim and end of human existence" - Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" - Mahatma GandhiUnderlying the reasons why clients have come to me over the years is the desire for happiness. What is happiness? Conventional wisdom often defines happiness as status, financial security, worldly goods, possessions, lifestyle, accomplishments etc.
Sweeten Up Your Life
Sometimes life experiences can be like a lemon-flavored Tootsie Roll Pop. Hard and sour on the outside.
The Happiness of Others
Is there any necessary connection between our actions and the happiness of others? Disregarding for a moment the murkiness of the definitions of "actions" in philosophical literature - two types of answers were hitherto provided.Sentient Beings (referred to, in this essay, as "Humans" or "persons") seem either to limit each other - or to enhance each other's actions.
Divining your Number of Destiny
Your Destiny Number, which describes all of the talents and potentials that are at your disposal in this lifetime, is calculated from the letters that compose your full birth name. This is not your married name, but rather the name that is found written in full on your birth certificate.
Its All About Me: Why Its Good to Be Selfish
I started thinking about this topic during a discussion of "What You Wish You Knew Then". People were talking about the differences in their lives once they discovered that what makes them happy is just as important as what makes other people happy.
Happiness
What is happiness? If we mean by it a state of fulfillment, when everything is going our way, in terms of results as well as efforts (which requires a providential combination of pluck and luck), then it cannot simply be willed; it is partly, if not largely, a gift of fate.Having said this, even this sort of happiness is a product of positive thinking and positive action, with good fortune lending a helping hand.
It's Good to be Goofy
To paraphrase a saying my mother liked to use occasionally, "The whole world is goofy - except you and me. And sometimes I'm not too sure about you!"Rest assured that no matter who we are or what we do, there is at least a handful of people somewhere in this world who are convinced that we're not rowing with both oars in the water.
Lifes Like that
It is now 5 years since I passed out of college and started working. I
love working.
|